Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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