could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
