I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
