You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
