my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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