I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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