talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
