was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
