i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I FOUND THE LEGS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
