Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

Fav 8 1343 1026
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(650): View more from California

I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

Fav 12 4965 1145
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(916): View more from California

She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.

Fav 14 1196 2832
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(562): View more from California

Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

Fav 2 1739 1055
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(607): View more from New York

I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.

Fav 2 1630 1127
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(228): View more from Mississippi

She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.

Fav 8 1047 1585
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(423): View more from Tennessee

What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.

Fav 5 2372 1070
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.

Fav 1 32 49
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(765): View more from Indiana

If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Yes, an arrangement called marriage

Fav 0 49 88
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