I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
