idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
