once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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