Can i not drive my cunt home
so that wasnt chicken after all
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
