So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
