I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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