new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
