we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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