After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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