I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All the doctor said was why
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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