U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
