Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
