I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
