Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I need a beard to bite.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
