I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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