so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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