soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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