babies were throwing up all over the place
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
