just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
