so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
