babies were throwing up all over the place
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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