Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
