I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
