Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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