Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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