Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
