Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is Oprah even human
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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