just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
