Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
