I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
