Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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