Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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