So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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