I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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