Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
