I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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