Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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