her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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