i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
