Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dignity is for republicans.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
