were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
