I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
