A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize