I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
