you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm always down for nudity.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
