I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
