are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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