So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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