You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize