Well apparently he's into motor boating.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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