Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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