ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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