She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
