Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he thought i was a dude.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The ass gains better be worth it
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