Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
