Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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