dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
