This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
