Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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