i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
