Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Never let your siblings swipe right.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
